a good team

these days are getting worst...
a team of mine is gonna broke of becausing of a drummer and the leader"s doings...
sure felt sad that the team i loved most was broke...
not only that...if the team broke i"ll sure getting more lonely....
hard on homework , hard on assignment , hard on every piece of damn work...

im sad for the whole weekend already....im thinking and thinking of her...now even plus this kind of problem that pops out...
i felt sad this week and last week...of the cause of this...and even sad of the cause that i reply her....she dosent reply back...is always my life ends like that after happy momentums gone through?

team brokes always because someone in the group had a hard time and was unhappy oreles is someone in the team felt bored...uninteresting...never mind for that guy because it isn"t just his fault but the whole team"s fault for causing it...

why must this always happens to me after i bring happiness to every single friend that i made through?...is this the kind of thing that i always get...lonelyness...thin friendship.....bad things happen to me....

in a TEST called D.I.S.C. ....i got it...and you know my fellow friends what i get?....i get something that i was fated to be a lonely person...a people who is hard to make friends with....im easy to get angry...no patience...very arrogant...but im a funny person...a person who loves challenging...but dosent care of any accidents....

why is life so hard for me that i was fated to be a lonely person....i just got my best brothers
1.Wai Liek
2.Chen Yang
3.Xiong Yau
4.Xiong Hua
5.Guo Sheng
6.Lee Qing
7.Edd Mund

My best sisters
1.Kimberlly
2.Shu Yu
3.Xiao Yan

some in those best brothers and sisters dosent like me or don"t care about me but it dosent felt anything to me because i loved you all very much even though sometimes we are angry with each other...mad at each other...

i thought i never knowing the feeling that i loved you brothers and sisters but after this happens...i just only can say all my deepest words through blog...JUST THE GOD DAMN BLOG!!!!

why does i deserve it?....
I didnt do anything that hurt you all....
If i did...i am sure that i didnt mean it to be like this....
Im sad...very sad.....how could ever grow to be a fine pianist or a fine joker in church?...
No one wanted to help me.....except for those brothers and sisters....

I don"t have any courage to talk it out but typing with my special fingers...

even if someone is my true friend or a true brother or sister.....

Why do i felt lonely all the time?
Why does i deserve to be someone i don"t wanna be?
Can anyone from this polution world tell me?